The wife of Bath’s tale

 

At King Arthur’s court, there was a strong lusty knight bachelor and one day he was riding down by the river. He was all alone and he saw this virgin lass.

Of course, there was an absolute outcry.

Arthur gave him over to Guinevere, she should choose whether to save his blood or spill it. “I’ll spare you if you can tell us fast what do women most desire?” Come on knight, speak up an answer for that will keep your neck bone safe from this hard iron!”

“I could not… I don’t know”

“I suppose if you can’t tell us now we’ll let you have twelve months and a day. Go!”

He went to every door and every town where he could hope to unearth the answer but everyone had a different idea. “Could you tell me, what does a woman most desire?”

“Her place in society”

“My good man what do women most desire?”

“Money!”

“Fancy clothes!”

“(give her) a right good seeing to !" (Sssslaaapppp!) ”

The day had come that he must turn homeward. His spirit was broken, his hopes bitter ashes. His route took him to a forest and there he saw four and twenty dancing ladies. “Maybe they’ll have the answer, maybe…”

“No way through here sir. Tell us what you’re looking for.”

“Mother, what do women most desire? If you can tell me I’ll make it worth your while!”

“Give me your oath you’ll do the very next thing I’ll ask of you and before sunset, you’ll have your answer.”

“My oath, you have it! Anything”

“Your life is safe! … Listen …”

 

“Silence, well?”

“My Lady Queen, apparently women desire sovereignty over husband and lover, they desire the upper hand of all times. Now do with me as you will!”

“None of them, not wife, nor virgin, nor widow, could argue with that. He had his life!”

“Sovereign Lady Queen, I gave him that answer!”

“Did you?”

“In return he swore he’d do the first thing I asked… take me as your wife!” 

“Oh my worldly goods if you must. Let my body alone”

“I want to be your wife and your love”

“My love? My damnation!” Sovereign should someone of my rank be brought so low?”

He had no choice but to marry her, to take the old woman into his bed. Alas for all the rejoicing and all the arrangements for the wedding feast, there wasn’t any, no joy, no feast. He became her husband in a private ceremony and spent the day hidden like an owl.

“Darling husband, are all Arthur’s knights so hard to please? I saved your life what have I done wrong? Tell me I’ll change”

“Change, wonderful, change. You’re so hideous so old and so common”

“I could change your life, if only you behaved a little more courteously to me”

“Are you surprised at me?”

“Oh you’re talking of nobility, arrogance, the man who attempts a noblest deed, he is a noblest man”

“You’ll always be old always again”

“Then you never need fear a rival, you have a choice: plain and old but your faithful and obedient wife or young and beautiful and danger whenever friends visit our house… whatever you prefer…”

“I put myself into your hands, whatever you want, my wife pleases me”

“Do I have the upper hand, then?” Do I make all the choices, all decisions?”

“That it is best”

“No more argument! I will be beautiful and true. Look at me … Kiss me”

“And Christ that is all, husband is meek and young and hard and the grace a-break them!”